do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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