; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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