Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
No...this little piggys going to the bar
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
