I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
