i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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