she woke up with a sticky ear
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
