i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
