she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
