sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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