She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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