Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
