i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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