Who wears a wallet chain?!
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
