I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize