My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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