he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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