Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
