We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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