im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I love you.
Bad choice
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