The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize