I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
