my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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