"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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