i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
