I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
