What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
