the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Be still, my beating vagina.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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