Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
