so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
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