but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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