North Korea, Best Korea!
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
