Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
