i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
