I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
