it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
