I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
