I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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