You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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