He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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