ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
