the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
