I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
