You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
