please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
