remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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