ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
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I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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