oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
