i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
