We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
