it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
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He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
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If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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