My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
