i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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