You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
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