I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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