We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
