So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
This house was built for laser tag.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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