omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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